Like many people, I suffer from occasional bouts of ‘imposter syndrome’, equally there are times when I think I could rule the world, but isn’t it funny how we tend to remember the downs more than the ups sometimes. A lot of what I read and hear is based on negativity and a fear that we are not as successful as we should be, or as we believe we are entitled to be. Even very senior people can feel they are letting those around them down, be that colleagues, investors or even family.
In moments of self-doubt, we should all say, “I am far more successful than I think”, indeed most people I know are.
The problem is that most of us instinctively measure the wrong things!
The start (and end) point for people tends to be the 4 P’s – power, position, pay and possessions. We judge ourselves by these superficial, and yes, they are superficial, standards. So it is easy to feel inadequate when you consider how many people earn more than you, drive a bigger (and maybe several) cars, get paid a fortune etc. Even some person in a huge house in Howth is probably blue because the smaller house beside theirs has a better view! That way lies never-ending frustration, envy and feelings of anxiety.
How about these for measurements of your worth?
- How popular am I?
- Am I a good leader/colleague/team member?
- Am I generous with my time and resources?
- Do I maintain a great work/life balance?
- Do I enjoy good health?
- Am I happy?
- Do I need more than my fingers and toes to count my close family and friends?
- Have I a roof over my head, access to transport and an occasional holiday?
Truly you are a person of great wealth and success if you can answer most of the above questions in positive terms.
I love the story of the religious person who was recounting a life of ministering to the sick and dying and when asked to sum up what hey had learned, observed “I never met one dying person who wished they had spent more time at the office!!”
Remember, you will be defined not by what you value, but by how much you were valued!